a little something

was sitting at my desk yesterday and a colleague of mine comes with a bunch of roses. 'take one, a little something to brighten your day' he said. I was very surprised. I picked one and thanked him. I had thought that someone had given him a bunch of roses for some reason of other and he decided to distribute it among the girls. that actually happened a few times at my workplace. it was only later that someone told me that it was women's day. how cool is that? apparently it is still an official holiday in russia and other eastern european countries. women's day. a flower for each girl. it was a small gesture but it really did brighten up my day. it bloomed a little more today and it just looks great. I suppose having these type of days can be a good thing.

but of course when it comes to valentine's day, mother's day, father's day, it is still a nice day to do something special for someone special. but it feels a 100% different from what I felt yesterday because yesterday was completely unexpected. on valentine's, mother's day, father's day etc., you could do something but it is sort of expected. getting the flowers yesterday is like getting an unexpected package in the mail. this makes me think that I should send my friends and loved ones something small sometimes without needing a reason. maybe something like nice teabags, or flowers!! hopefully this won't turn out to be all talk!! heh!

posted under not enough coffee

olympics

olympics olympics olympics!! such a waste of time I tell ya!! you think you can just keep the tv on in the background and do something more fruitful with your time right? wrong!!! this does not happen with the olympics. you get sucked in!! watching skiier after skiier come down that stupid slalom course. watching stupid bobsleds slide down one after another. is this actually entertaining? mildly I suppose. is it a waste of time? hell yeah!! who cares??!! there is not much to see for an average non-expert. is this team going to be faster than the last? does it really matter? but it is definitely hypnotizing. staring at skiier after skiier, skater after skater. it's definitely more fun when it's a pack race. the jostling and drama. you have to love the drama. there's always drama. it's the freakin' olympics. there has to be drama.

jacobelis and her showboating. that's gotta suck. gold and silver. a damn huge difference. that just had to suck. and I think that was her only event too.

apollo ono and short track. not much drama this time. that ahn guy is cool man!! anyway, short track is especially fun to watch because it is so unpredictable.

and how can we miss the playground rivalry of the long track? shauni won the 1000m gold. would he not have won it if he trained for the team pursuit? who knows?! but that is only american. no real lashing from the americans regarding that semi-selfish move. I suppose most just say it's his prerogative and leave it at that. could you imagine, say an italian, doing that?! I would guess that the italians would be demanding they throw him out of the country or something. sure chad is pissed!! he's a texan after all. hohoho. love their squabbling!! it makes for more fun since I really don't care who gets the gold.

and we can't forget mr ski drunk bode miller. 0 for 4. that really sucks!! but he seems cool with it so whatever. but now, injuring himself playing hoops when he still has 1 race left!!! oh man!! the shit just ain't stopping!!

oh well, I missed most of the figure skating. wasn't motivated to watch the mens'. missed the womens' short program. maybe I'll watch tonight. that is if tonight's csi is a rerun....

posted under in the news

michelle kwan

so the winter olympics is here. do you get excited when the olympics comes around? there really is magic around the olympics. resulting in hours wasted in front of the tv. the drama. the pressure.

but this olympics, the talk has been on michelle kwan. the darling on the ice. I've watched all her olympic skates. unfortunately although she is such a beauty to watch on ice, the jumps have always troubled her. she lacks the ease and smooth jumping skills of tara lipinski and sarah hughes. I don't know why she seems to fare better in the world championships since I don't watch those. this year after hearing about the controversy regarding her entry into the olympics, I didn't know what to think. the officials know best right? afterall, I didn't watch the nationals and from what I hear, the alternate is not really a medal hopeful. as for kwan, after watching her falter twice, and with the increasing toughness of the field, I didn't think she was going to do it this time either. then I learned that because of kwan finishing 4th in the world championships, the US can now send 3 instead of just 2 skaters, since she created the spot, I suppose she deserves it. furthermore, she did finish 4th in the worlds, even though that has not helped her before. and now with her additional injury, we won't get to see her skate in torino. I do feel sad for her, seeing how hard she has tried. it really is too bad. having been the best in the world and not win an olympic gold. hopefully she can let it go.

posted under in the news.

am I chinese?

so here I was minding my own business. and a chinaman asks me if I am chinese. yes, he is a chinaman. no I don't usually call them chinamen but this one was asking for it. people from mainland china always feel the to urge to chat up chinese looking people. maybe they like talking to their own kind. anyway, back to the chinaman. 'are you chinese?' he asks. different from the usual 'you chinese?' that I sometimes get. I say yes. am I not chinese? I am 99% sure that I'm racially 100% chinese. my great great grandparents came from china. they were both chinese. so doesn't that make me chinese? anyway, chinaman asks me if I speak chinese. I say not really. chinaman asks if I'm ABC. I say I'm from malaysia. and what does chinaman say to that? he says, 'so you're not chinese!' 'fuck you!!' is what I said under my breath. outloud I said nothing and killed the conversation.

so what is this about? I don't particularly want to be mistaken as someone from mainland china. there are a lot of negative perceptions associated with people from mainland china. stereotypes of course, as I do work and interact with many myself. but I am chinese. I claim that I have a connection to the glorious china of old. to Confucian teaching. to chinese food. to chinese art. to chinese traditions. a lot of which have been abandoned by mainland china due to the cultural revolution. fine, fine, I speak chinese as well as I speak vulcan. actually I speak chinese loads better than vulcan and I practise the chinese way of life. as in the way it was since eons ago. not the way it is in modern day china. well, except for the above-mentioned silent curse during chinese new year. so what right do they have to say that I'm not chinese?

anyway, it's not as if I go around telling people I'm chinese. if chinaman had asked me where I'm from, the answer is straightforward. I'm from malaysia. but chinaman asked if I'm chinese. I am dammit!! drat! ok, written curses don't count. anyway, I'm more likely to give chinamans a wide berth from now on.

posted in not enough coffee

the taste of chicken

chicken. do you love chicken? I love fried chicken wings, deep fried breaded chicken drumsticks, spicy chicken vindaloo, juicy chicken curry, tender chicken tandori, ayam masak merah and on and on and on. I actually like the taste of pork better. darn the trichinosis! anyway, before I sound like a meat craving freak, what led me here is this post on how chicken tastes different here. supposedly asian chickens taste better. hmm.. what did I just say?

anyway, the first thing I noticed when I came over to the states is that dark meat is cheaper than light meat. what dark what light? dark meat is the finger-licking fatty part such as the drumsticks! light meat is the dry tasteless part such as chicken breast. bleah. back home the drumsticks costs more than the breast, but it's the other way around here. I suppose people here tend to eat the breast because it is healthier and has less fat and what not, so it is more in demand compared to the sinfully fatty dark meat. how about just eating less chicken? well, I'm not complaining since it's to my advantage. more fatty dark meat for me!! don't we all ask for the juicy drumstick and thigh pieces at kfc? actually I have no idea if people do the opposite here. that would be pretty stupid wouldn't it? deep fried breaded chicken. does it really matter now how much saturated fat is in the dark meat?

I have to say that I haven't noticed the blahness of the american chicken. but then, I only buy free-range chicken when I cook. so I can't really say what the average chicken tastes like. but the hainanese chicken rice at the malaysian restaurants here taste pretty good. and I doubt they use free-range chicken. what I did notice, however, is that the kfc here taste like crap. pure crap! ok, some of them are better than others, but there really is no qc and each outlet is different. but more often than not, the chicken sucks. which is pretty sad because you're expecting finger-lickin artery clogging goodness, but you're left with dried out pieces of artery clogging crap. kfc in malaysia is so delish! crispy fatty skin, yes I do eat that damn piece of solid form of fat! tender juicy meat with tendrils of steam floating up. nice nice nice! but over here, more often than not, the chicken is dry and blah. it is so wrong!! just like crappy ice cream. sinful things should be oh so good! otherwise, why bother? breyers, friendlys and turkey hill ice cream suck. ice cream is supposed to make you happy and satisfied!! it has to be haagen daz all the way! b&j is good too, but I like my ice cream less complicated.

ok ok, back to the chicken. I still am not sure about the asian chicken taste better thingy. supposedly asian chickens are treated better? don't think so. not malaysian chickens anyway. but kampung chicken soup does taste much better than regular chicken soup. not the chicken, but the soup. yum!!! but having kfc here is not equivalent to binging or indulging. you're much better off with freshly deep fried chicken wings from a good chinese takeout. so the next time I'm back home, I'll be sure to make a stop at kfc. so what if kfc is american. it tastes much better back home. and speaking about american imports, bring back the kampung burger already!!!

posted in not enough coffee

memoirs of a geisha

watched sayuri not too long ago. I know next to nothing about geishas. supposedly the real geishas are enveloped in secrecy. one has to be introduced into the world of geisha. outsiders can only ponder from afar. hence, I have nothing to say about the portrayal of geishas in the movie. geishas are supposed to be artists and are themselves an artform and by no means are they courtesans. that is my limited knowledge of geishas. something like the perfect woman for men? a nadeshiko? well, in this movie, geishas can only be the wives of night. existing only to please men in the cover of night. and since I'm definitely not one attuned to traditional japanese dance and music, and the fact that I'm a woman, my curiosity towards geisha will remain at the extent of looking at their fabulous outfits. sayuri's main dance was quite puzzling to me. yes, I get the message, and I understand the skill it entails but it failed to impress me. I was left with 'huh'?

there was also this hoo hah about the choice of chinese actresses for the portrayal of geishas. well, geishas are supposedly a secret even to most japanese girls. so one can argue both ways. one can say, since geishas are so veiled in secrecy, all non-geishas are equal, be it japanese or chinese. or you can say that since geishas are so unique and mysterious, at least some of it right by using japanese actresses. well, I have only watched snitches of japanese dramas. because subtitled japanese programs used to be very rare in malaysia, as opposed to the flood of chinese shows. and the snitches that I did watch bored the heck out of me. of course, I'm not saying japanese shows suck. I just haven't watched good ones. the problem is mostly because I've no idea where to start. anyway, my total ignorance of japanese films aside, I have interacted with a fair number of japanese people and frequent japanese restaurants and shops fairly often. and in addition, I read a ton of manga, a vice that I can't seem to rid myself of. ok, what I'm trying to say is there definitely is a clear difference between how chinese and japanese people live, interact, think etc. but actors play roles.

when I watched memoirs, I felt like I was watching a chinese movie because I am so familiar with the faces. I've watched zhang ziyi, michelle yeoh and gong li countless times on the big screen. but since I've never watched a japanese film, I don't know how this compares. I felt like I was watching a show about chinese courtesans in japan. I found it hard to see them as japanese. but nevertheless, that should not detract too much from the movie. on one hand, I can see why some would have preferred japanese actresses, but I certainly can't think of any. I'm not sure if mainstream hollywood is familiar with any japanese actresses. I know none. only singers such as namuro amie and utada hikaru. or ami and puffy? I can also understand those who brush all this off as nonsense, since someone like russell crowe must have played a dozen nationalities in his career.

anyway, I didn't really enjoy memoirs. the last epic/saga/grand movie that I remember watching was hero. and I loved that to bits. itty bitty bits. the cinematography was breathtaking and the choreography was faultless. the story was very well told and I left the theater gushing over the movie. in contrast, I didn't really connect with the characters in memoirs. it bugged me to no end. after the movie, I kept pondering why I didn't enjoy memoirs. I think it was because the acting was subpar, due to their having to speak english. I felt that they weren't very comfortable with their english, leading to a stilted performance. maybe they were too conscious of their accent or diction. I felt uncomfortable. and this had a huge negative impact on the movie for me. I'm sure that I would have enjoyed this movie much much better had it been subtitled. the experience would have been more powerful even if I had to read the words. but then they can't speak japanese either. actually, I think it was primarily sayuri and hatsumomo. even the line 'I want a life that is my own' came out weird to me. to me, pumpkin was the best.


anyway, the movie was so so. I thought the ending didn't fit. I haven't read the book, so no comparison there. should they have used japanese actresses? it would have definitely helped someone like me, who sees a clear distinction between the chinese and japanese, and who is also terribly familiar with this cast of chinese actresses. I suppose memoirs falls into the 'you'd have to watch it just so that you have something to talk about with random people at parties' category.

damn spammers

it's the new year and I'm already cranky. thanks to one damned spammer. this damned prick came back 11 times in the past 2 months. repeatedly spamming the same 3 posts. so, in all probability, it must be a bot. so this ass runs a bot to publicize their ass of a website? sure, running a bot is no sweat. no effort required. and since blogger does not support ip blacklist, they are free to troll the non-captcha blogs. nevermind the fact that most of the affected blogs have zero influence on search engine results, since most blog platforms use the no follow tag on the comments, hence zero impact. again most of these blogs have low readership so no one other than the irate blog owner will see the spam. on top of that, the spam is totally unrelated to the blog content such that even if someone does chance upon it, it is highly improbable that they would click on it. so the result is inconvenience for me and no benefit for anybody. unless they paid a blood sucking professional spammer to advertise for them, then there is a winner.

now, since I don't fancy turning on captcha, and I don't want to have to deal with this bastard, I've republished my posts so that they come under a different url. hopefully this will be the end of my annoyance with the spam bot. hopefully blogs that don't employ the no follow tag will hurriedly do so! death to all spammers!! and since that alone does not give me enough satisfaction, a little help from domain registrations gives me...

yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com yvan@acal.com

here's hoping some of the right spiders come crawling this way. yes, I do realize that this is a low traffic blog but I do have faith in the spiders. after all, this all started with one.

christmas

christmas is coming. it's this sunday!! this sunday!! don't feel christmassy at all. why why why? the christmas tree is already up. the snow hasn't melted, though it's supposed to rain on christmas. bleah! haven't listened to the radio much although I have heard that last christmas song too many times already. what does gm think when he hears it every christmas? is he proud of this song that will be his legacy? hehe.

seems like yesterday that the first advent candle was lit. but it was actually so long ago. the year is fast coming to an end. I can almost feel it rushing by. as much as I hate winter, I like these last days of the year. I can feel the hope that the new year will be better. this year was not particularly good for me. but it wasn't bad. I never make resolutions. they seem too bothersome. maybe I should try this year. but what would they be?

anyway, christmas is almost upon us. I have no plans. this year I'm not even sending out paper cards. guess it will be ecards this year. I only send to family anyway since not all my friends are christians and I don't really want to send out 'holiday' cards. I have not done much thinking about christmas. it's supposed to be a season of anticipation right? advent season. preparation for the big day. I remember one year, our cathechism teacher told us to prepare for christmas by making straw for the manger. what?? ok, first, display the nativity scene in your house without baby Jesus. everytime you do a good deed, or make some kind of sacrifice, you cut a shred of colored paper and put it in the manger. you're supposed to want to make the manger full of straw, hence be all goody goody! how sad it would be to end with a few straggly strands on christmas!! anyway, that was part of the preparation for christmas. sad to say, I've been doing nothing of that sort this year, of should I say for many years now. no prezzies for bad me!!

this reminds me of a sitcom I watched over thanksgiving. a bunch of yuppies decided to show up on thanksgiving to a prominent shelter to help out for thanksgiving dinner. but they were turned away because there were too many volunteers. the regular volunteers were not very happy about the 'holiday' helpers as they were only there to make themselves feel better. not because they sincerely cared for the homeless, since none of them thought to help out throughout the year. but still, thinking of others during the holidays is better than nothing right? that's more than what I did for thanksgiving. in college, I helped out serving dinner at a shelter on sundays. it was really fun! one christmas morning, I followed my friend to her christmas morning tradition, that is to help make christmas brunch at a shelter. it was crazy!! instead of just serving, this time I was in the kitchen. the ginormous mounds of food!! so many eggs. so many loaves of bread. so much bacon. condensed milk even! it was like whoaaaaaaaaa!! what did little me do? I don't remember but I think I buttered bread the whole morning. kakakaka.

anyway, hopefully I'll catch some of that christmas spirit before it's all over. I actually ditched the office party this year. bleah! looks like I'm turning out to be a big grinch!!

anwar

DS Anwar Ibrahim. I was surprised when I found out that he was/is a visiting fellow/prof here in the states. first at johns hopkins. then in georgetown.

I remember anwar from when I was in primary school. he spoke at the esplanade. this little kid was very impressed. anwar was a very charismatic speaker. known around the world. he was elected president of unesco's general conference in 1991. was a student leader in university. he was from penang. I remember he even spoke a few words in chinese that night. even then, this little brat was very proud of anwar. and I continued to favor him even when he became more radical.

the sacking came in 1998. by that time I was ashamedly very far removed from malaysian politics after having been in the states for a while. still I doubted the charges. but since I wasn't really following the case, I didn't decide either way. besides, I also supported mahathir. I just put it as anwar being too impatient leading to him being sidelined by mahathir.

he was finally freed after the sodomy conviction was overturned. this was followed by his going round the world speaking about islam, democracy, and free press, among other things. earlier this year, he was interviewed on hardtalk. I anticipated the interview but it left me un-impressed. and sometime last month, I had the chance to hear him speak again. I expected a fiery, well-delivered, awe-inspiring speech. after all that is what he has been doing since his release. giving numerous speeches, seminars, and interviews. but his talk was quite fractured. I wasn't swept away. I found myself having to concentrate to keep my mind from wandering. and during the questions session, he didn't answer most of them! he went on at a tangent and left a few of us going huh? on one of his tangents, he told us that he was surprised by how many malaysian students there were in the audience. he said that at other universities, there were people from the malaysian embassy or whatnot that turned away malaysian students and forbade them to attend. I thought to myself, what a load of crap! as if the malaysian government is so childish and ridiculous. but..... what do I see on jeffooi's site? proof of such infantile actions! they actually sent an official letter to the sponsored students!! shame shame!! I could hardly believe it. since I'm not a sponsored student myself, even though I have had meetings and correspondence with the msd, I may have been spared the cocooning. do they really want to isolate our students? sending students overseas is not just about acquiring technical knowledge. malaysia hopes to attract more international investments. the prime students are sent overseas to help make it happen. to understand how the world works. are these students not to be trusted? why send them here if they still see the need to protect them? can't these students learn to judge for themselves? if they are not allowed to hear anwar speak, how are they going to address the questions others have on this issue? um.... I'm sorry but I'm not familiar with anwar because I've been banned from listening to the opposition... don't we want malaysians to have a wider view of the world? how can malaysians be more active globally if we're not allowed to consider the other point of view? what happend to knowing your enemy?

back to the talk. one of them is archived here. you can decide for yourself. anwar drives the point across that real democracy entails free press among other things. freedom of information. ironic since even overseas the sponsored students are not entitled to that. and he also urges the western world to apply pressure for free press and human rights to countries such as malaysia. this probably wouldn't work as the western world can't afford to alienate another muslim nation. however anwar didn't give us any answers. how do you start to change the status quo in malaysia? but at least he is bringing attention to the issue. he stayed on after the speech to meet and discuss with the malaysian students. that is more than what any government official has done.

I left the talk underwhelmed. maybe I was too easily impressed as a kid. not surprising since at that time many senior ministers even had problems speaking in english. someone with anwar's intellect shone easily. I could listen to more of his foreign interviews. but I've somehow lost the motivation. I should't be such a slacker. but change needs persistence, luck and should only come when the time is right. besides I am also lost in my selfish problems.

linz to the finish!

so the linz family won. I was rooting more for the bransens in the end. but I guess it's all fair since the linzes still have their backpacks while the other 2 teams are carrying plastic bags. somehow, curling doesn't look so hard. heh! but that bata shoe museum was surprising. not just because it sounds so ridiculous. trying to find 2 women out of 200?? at least that's what I understood from the clue. sounds like madness. anyway, it was also surprising because bata is a commonplace shoe brand in malaysia. I walked through numerous bata shoes and slippers as a kid. it's like keds over here. I remember being surprised too when I read somewhere that you see broken bata slippers scattered in the streets of haiti. that was when I first thought that bata isn't just a malaysian company. the bata shoes in malaysia are made in malaysia. that's why I assumed it's something malaysian. but I suppose the word bata doesn't sound particularly malaysian. the bata malaysia website states that bata was founded by tomas bata in czechoslovakia. so that's where it all started. still it was nice to see the bata shoe museum. it's like seeing someone eating rojak or some other malaysian snack on tv. hmm... reminds me of the slices of mengkuang or pineapple perched on 3 toothpicks, topped with heh kor and sprinkled with chopped peanuts. yumm!!!

anyway, back to the amazing race. the weavers remained kooky until the end. it's like they are from some alternate universe. how they simply fail to understand why the other teams hate them. like duh! because you're freaks, that's why! gets on my nerves to hear them whine about how everyone else is mean to them. puhleezzzz!!

unfortunately I was too engrossed in the race that I forgot to check phil out. huh? why check phil out, you say. well.... because I've had 3 different visitors coming over to check out what I've written about his 'huge bulge'. wtf??!! no, I have not written anything about it because I've never noticed it. but I made a mental note that I absolutely have to check it out on the next episode. but I totally forgot!!!!! aarrgghhhhh!! now I'll never know. tsk tsk. so have you noticed it???

frickin' freezin'

it's frickin' freezin'. snow is pretty - whee!! it's too dastardly cold - bleah!! the house feels so cozy - whee!! my hands are raw and chapped - bleah!!

winter. it's romantic. when it snows it's so peaceful. so pretty. so serene. so right for christmas. soft flakes floating down. huge flakes whirling round and round. every little branch is coated. and if the conditions are right, the snow melts slighltly and freezes over the branches. every twig coated in ice. so unbelievably magical. dark, almost black branches contrast sharply with the blinding white and glittering ice. love the walks in the snow. with someone special in tow. with hot chocolate or just holding hands. snowmen. snowballs. snowangels. snowfights. the nice crunch of fresh snow under your boots. the fresh footprints appearing and disappearing. when it snows, I feel happy. whether it is staring out the window or stomping around in the snow. even clearing the snow from the car and shoveling does not detract from the fun. but even with all the magical moments, I have to say that winter sucks.

winter... sucks. it's frickin' freezin'. slather on the creams and chapstick. red ears and pink noses. losing the feeling in my fingers and toes. mufflers and hats and down jackets. even all bundled up, it takes time to build up that warm pocket of air. the first step outside is chilling to the bone. leather seats are freezing. my freaking jeans feel like they're frozen. static is everywhere. and what about the magical snow and the blardy freezing rain. the snow may be pretty but after the magic, all that's left is a sheet of ice. over sidewalks and streets. get ready to skate without skates. so far, I've been lucky. no painful falls on the bum. I'm not like the duckies. happily waddling on the ice. and when the snow finally melts, the slush is ugly and dirty. lumps of soiled ice stretching on and on. and the cold wind blows. so strongly I swear it's enough to support my weight. and I hunch over and shiver. over and over. the damned cold. it goes on forever.

I hate winter. please save me from the cold. don't remind me that it is not yet january.

oh the flamers!

hrmm.. so now daphne's gone as well. gone private that is. time to scratch that link off the sidebar. first blog I followed that has gone under. all her flamers calling her a fake! it was quite funny to watch.

'you're not that rich!'
'we're the real rich ones!'
'us the real rich scoff at you the fake rich!'

why do they bother??? is daphne rich? I don't know. most rich foreign students drive beamers in the states. or SLKs if they prefer *ahem*. so you go figure. but what does that have to do with her blog? ok, you can say that she's spending too much money on material things if she's not that rich. but why do you actually care? it is up to her friends and family to tell her otherwise. afterall, we as strangers, shouldn't care if she wastes her parent's hard earned money. I definitely don't. no matter how you look at it, the flamers have to be jealous. daphne babbles on about her shopping, her travels, her parties. she doesn't bitch about others. so what is the big deal? jealous of her blog's popularity? or is it the boasting that ticked you off? *yawn*

do all these jealous flamings just happen in the malaysian/singaporean blogosphere? probably not. that's what comment moderation is for. why should we stigmatize bloggers that moderate their comments? why should bloggers display insults on their blog? sure, if she lied or whatever, it's fair game. but calling people names like ugly, evil, slut, bitch.... wtf!!??

oh well, what daphne did write about her ex was a little uncalled for. blogging about someone else's weak moments for all to see is quite tasteless. much like character assassination. you just can't do that when you've told everyone before who he is, pictures and all. anyhow, it's over. seemingly. she definitely knows how to generate enough interest to stay on technorati's top 10 searches. little teaser posts and all. she does seem like an attention-seeker. but I suppose she is tired of the brainless insults.

blogosphere gossip

hohoho. the blogosphere can be so entertaining. except when you're bearing the brunt of it. poor dawn. so much hoo hah until she became #1 on technorati. ish! from what I've gathered, she probably told a few white lies, brag sikit, and now bagi orang taruh teruk teruk. how not to pity her? the poor girl is pretty. not drop dead gorgeous but pretty lah. so what if she's plastic? she definitely looks better now than in her old pics. mostly due to makeup and weight loss I suppose. but it does look like she had a nose job. my eyes and cheeks look different from before but I'm still stuck with my pudgy nose. maybe she used this contraption. I should probably look into it for myself. anyway, cut her some slack. she got her contract. let her try her best. you called her bluff. and now everyone knows it. that's what you get for claiming to be better than you are. little white lies coming back to haunt you. she's going into showbiz. most of them are plastic anyway. it's scary how maggie cheung and andy lau still look like how they were when I was in high school. anyway, enough damage done kua.

the other ripple is about the infamous mini. the blog queen. you better watch out or she will descend upon you with her minions. her highness goes around ridiculing and lording over plebeian bloggers.

('oy, you should blog like this'
'hewo, some ppl are so stooooooopid')

paraphrasing lah. like I'm supposed to remember the exact words. talking about xiaxue as kurang ajar etc., when she is the one embarrassing msians. don't go spewing more of the xx hates kl stuff. msians not so siu hei ok. kl is not perfect. singapore isn't either. that is an old story so stop trying to revive it. like with the outburst at the poor buffalo singaporeans. geez!! calling them stoooooopid and katak bawah tempurung. so what if they thought you were singaporean and male? people make mistakes. a little poke to tell them - 'hey, I'm a msian girl leh' would have been more appropriate. saying things like - 'I belong to Malaysia thank you very much, and its blardy annoying when people make this kind of stoopid mistake' is like huh? don't lump us in with you lah. I don't yell at the japanese storekeepers when they greet me in japanese when I enter the store you know. should I shout - 'damn it! I'm not blardy japanese. just because I have yellow skin and walked in a japanese store bitch bitch bitch'. must be the pms. as if this kind of behaviour shows proper education. it's only a blog isn't it? anyway, sorry already, why password the entry? if you're really sorry then show people what it is you're sorry for lah.

and then the fake blogwar. like so bigshot like that. hahaha. see you all so stooooopid!! pwn!! it's that kind of attitude that pisses me off. and then of course must pretend to be the better person even though she's probably seething inside. (we love you all) orrr.... you're so sweet. so big of you. and the stupid animal story. I thought the 1st pinky story was damn funny. but she had to bring herself in as the all-knowing, prescient elf in the sequel or whatever. (I knew it was coming, because I'm so smart. people like pinky so stupid, can't even figure it out) said the smarty-shorts elf. ugh! and don't forget the guest blogger thing. like what?? (my blog is so great so be grateful my minions, that I let you be my guest). but it sure worked for me. would've never read the guests if not for her blog. except viewtru of course. anyway, it isn't too surprising then that mini drew attacks from other bloggers. kim was especially caustic. *cringes* be careful of kim! one could easily go blind from the biting personal attack.

aiyah, if I hate her so much, why do I keep going back? because I love drama. and she's good at finding or creating it. and I don't hate her. how can I? since I don't know her. and it's entertaining. anyway, she's definitely making it big. fan or not, she's racking up the links!! let's see, how many I have contributed... at least mini is up-front with how highly she thinks of herself. instead of being falsely modest liddat.

(stuff in brackets is paraphrased or sarcastic lah)

immigrants

riots in france. I suppose it was bound to happen. with the reported widespread discrimination. but even without such outright discrimination, there is discontent among immigrants in other EU countries. even without blatant discrimination, being the minority can be difficult. I suppose the 1st generation immigrants understand what they are giving up. they chose to go to a different country and be part of it. leaving behind the things they were used to. because they believe that it is necessary or better for them to call another country home.

I have been in another country for over a decade, but I still do not consider it home. the days I spend here vs msia is like 35:1. but I still consider myself malaysian not just because I have a malaysian passport. I suppose it is in what I identify with. even the conscious time I've spent in both countries is getting pretty close. so I sort of understand the problems immigrants face when trying to identify themselves with their 'new' country. I don't think there is much discontent with the generation did the actual act of immigration. but the generation after that did not make the conscious choice of immigrating. those that were born in the new country. citizens. but yet they are different from the majority in their new country. they are muslims, not christians. they speak the language of the new country but yet they don't identify with it. they don't feel they are really citizens because they are different. but yet they can't go back to their 'home' country because they are also different. sort of stuck in between. neither here nor there. they didn't choose to leave, but now they can't go back.

the 1st generation understood that things will be different in the new country and that they will have to adapt to it. accept it. but the 2nd generation would ask why must I be like this? I want to be myself. and also with the idealistic and rebellious nature of youth, they will show their dissatisfaction. the first generation acquiesced. the 2nd generation don't think it's fair. after all they are citizens of the new country. do as the romans do. but they are the romans. so why can't they be who they are? why must they change to become french, dutch, german, italian or british? some of the french people belittle the need to integrate the immigrants saying 'they are french! what is there to integrate?' but do the traditional french view them as french? no no no. the european countries accepted the immigrants for various reasons. political. humanitarian. economical. but they expected them to fit in. be quiet and play your part. they did not want the immigrants to change the way things were. they didn't like how the immigrants changed their daily lives. they felt that the physical and social changes were marring their country. their identity. the immigrants were accepted not as themselves, but as people who would fit in the old mold.

so who's at fault? the countries who accepted the immigrants but refuse to accept change. or the immigrants who chose to come and yet refuse to blend in? what if you're a 2nd generation immigrant. you can say that you didn't choose this. but since you are now a roman, shouldn't you live as one?

but why is the unrest most visible with the muslim immigrants? what about the chinese, indian, thai, vietnamese? are they more patient? are they more willing to adapt? are they less touchy and less prone to play victim? are they more self reliant and have more perseverance? or is it because islam as a religion is too contradictory to christianity? hence the muslims are viewed differently and there is an inherent bias against them? islam is just too visibly different? headgear and all. does resorting to violence come easier to muslims or is it because the christians give them no choice?

of course this is all just from my bias, observing from a distance. but this effects everyone and we should all at least think about it.

where is my ice?

hurricane wilma is long gone. not so the woes she left behind. it really has been a tough year. watching the whining plastered on tv shortly after wilma came through made it even worse. the long lines for water and supplies. people complaining about how they were beyond disappointment. how they don't understand why the government still can't get it right. so wilma has just come and gone. immediately after the hurricane, these people ran out of water and food? they live in florida. they were warned long before the storm hit. why did they not stock up on supplies? you live in florida. surely you know what hurricane season means.

how many named storms come through florida each hurricane season?? what is a hurricane?? a powerful storm that could potential destroy everything in its path. so, people should be prepared. stock up on water, food, batteries, ice boxes, generators, and whatever else you think you'll need in the next week. I totally understand if your house was blown away and all your emergency supplies were strewn all over the place. but if your house is still standing, why are you wasting your time lining up and whining about how incompetent the government is? do you realize how many millions of people were affected by the storm?? if everyone depended on the government to supply them with food and water, how on earth is everyone going to be taken care of?

bitch bitch bitch. where is fema?? my house is flooded. no kidding your house is flooded. there was a freaking hurricane. how much manpower do you think fema has?? how much money do you think the federal government has?? who do you think pays for all this? the freaking taxpayers from the whole freaking country, that's who. do the rest of us have to pay for a gazillion fema workers and a gazillion pounds of ice for all of you who didn't prepare for the hurricane?? how can you not have enough supplies?? did no one tell you that a hurricane was coming??

and all the impatience with the power outage. it was inevitable that there would be power outages!! hurricanes happen every freaking year. and every single time, there are power outages. and the area affected was huge!! and you have people saying they don't understand how the power companies can be so heartless and not restore the power immediately. like huh??? and the newscasters aren't much better. asking the power company representatives why did this happen? what is the problem?? why are so many people still without power? do they not have any common sense? what do you mean what is the problem?? do you not know how power is delivered in florida?? on freaking power lines!! do you not know how long it would take to put back each pole that has been blown down and connect each and every snapped cable?? are they supposed to magically right themselves?? an actual person has to go re-connect each and every broken point. they must think that the people listening to the news are pretty daft to not understand what happens when hurricanes and power lines collide. maybe florida should start burying all those cables so they won't have to keep repairing them. but of course the cost is too prohibitive, just as the cost of raising the levies were too prohibitive before katrina. don't we all get it that nothing is going to change if we keep delivering power through overhead cables in hurricane prone areas?

let's not forget those who refused to evacuate during the mandatory evacuation. it was mandatory damnit!! but you still have these people that refuse to move. I'm not talking about the destitute here. I'm talking about the middle income folks who choose to live in areas like key west. and after the hurricane, of course the media will interview those who stayed behind. and we get to hear how horrible and terrifying it was and how they will never do that again. I guess you thought you knew better huh!

the thing is, why are some people so quick to complain?? why do they ask for so much?? how do you expect the government to accomodate millions of people at the same time? why can't they be more self-reliant? all these whiners are hindering the government agencies from helping those who really need it. you know, those who lost their homes and have nothing left.

well, fema only have themselves to blame. their failure during katrina started all this. luckily for them most people understand that fema can't hold everyone by the hand. they just have to remember to roll up their sleeves on tv.