am I chinese?

so here I was minding my own business. and a chinaman asks me if I am chinese. yes, he is a chinaman. no I don't usually call them chinamen but this one was asking for it. people from mainland china always feel the to urge to chat up chinese looking people. maybe they like talking to their own kind. anyway, back to the chinaman. 'are you chinese?' he asks. different from the usual 'you chinese?' that I sometimes get. I say yes. am I not chinese? I am 99% sure that I'm racially 100% chinese. my great great grandparents came from china. they were both chinese. so doesn't that make me chinese? anyway, chinaman asks me if I speak chinese. I say not really. chinaman asks if I'm ABC. I say I'm from malaysia. and what does chinaman say to that? he says, 'so you're not chinese!' 'fuck you!!' is what I said under my breath. outloud I said nothing and killed the conversation.

so what is this about? I don't particularly want to be mistaken as someone from mainland china. there are a lot of negative perceptions associated with people from mainland china. stereotypes of course, as I do work and interact with many myself. but I am chinese. I claim that I have a connection to the glorious china of old. to Confucian teaching. to chinese food. to chinese art. to chinese traditions. a lot of which have been abandoned by mainland china due to the cultural revolution. fine, fine, I speak chinese as well as I speak vulcan. actually I speak chinese loads better than vulcan and I practise the chinese way of life. as in the way it was since eons ago. not the way it is in modern day china. well, except for the above-mentioned silent curse during chinese new year. so what right do they have to say that I'm not chinese?

anyway, it's not as if I go around telling people I'm chinese. if chinaman had asked me where I'm from, the answer is straightforward. I'm from malaysia. but chinaman asked if I'm chinese. I am dammit!! drat! ok, written curses don't count. anyway, I'm more likely to give chinamans a wide berth from now on.

posted in not enough coffee