christmas

christmas is coming. it's this sunday!! this sunday!! don't feel christmassy at all. why why why? the christmas tree is already up. the snow hasn't melted, though it's supposed to rain on christmas. bleah! haven't listened to the radio much although I have heard that last christmas song too many times already. what does gm think when he hears it every christmas? is he proud of this song that will be his legacy? hehe.

seems like yesterday that the first advent candle was lit. but it was actually so long ago. the year is fast coming to an end. I can almost feel it rushing by. as much as I hate winter, I like these last days of the year. I can feel the hope that the new year will be better. this year was not particularly good for me. but it wasn't bad. I never make resolutions. they seem too bothersome. maybe I should try this year. but what would they be?

anyway, christmas is almost upon us. I have no plans. this year I'm not even sending out paper cards. guess it will be ecards this year. I only send to family anyway since not all my friends are christians and I don't really want to send out 'holiday' cards. I have not done much thinking about christmas. it's supposed to be a season of anticipation right? advent season. preparation for the big day. I remember one year, our cathechism teacher told us to prepare for christmas by making straw for the manger. what?? ok, first, display the nativity scene in your house without baby Jesus. everytime you do a good deed, or make some kind of sacrifice, you cut a shred of colored paper and put it in the manger. you're supposed to want to make the manger full of straw, hence be all goody goody! how sad it would be to end with a few straggly strands on christmas!! anyway, that was part of the preparation for christmas. sad to say, I've been doing nothing of that sort this year, of should I say for many years now. no prezzies for bad me!!

this reminds me of a sitcom I watched over thanksgiving. a bunch of yuppies decided to show up on thanksgiving to a prominent shelter to help out for thanksgiving dinner. but they were turned away because there were too many volunteers. the regular volunteers were not very happy about the 'holiday' helpers as they were only there to make themselves feel better. not because they sincerely cared for the homeless, since none of them thought to help out throughout the year. but still, thinking of others during the holidays is better than nothing right? that's more than what I did for thanksgiving. in college, I helped out serving dinner at a shelter on sundays. it was really fun! one christmas morning, I followed my friend to her christmas morning tradition, that is to help make christmas brunch at a shelter. it was crazy!! instead of just serving, this time I was in the kitchen. the ginormous mounds of food!! so many eggs. so many loaves of bread. so much bacon. condensed milk even! it was like whoaaaaaaaaa!! what did little me do? I don't remember but I think I buttered bread the whole morning. kakakaka.

anyway, hopefully I'll catch some of that christmas spirit before it's all over. I actually ditched the office party this year. bleah! looks like I'm turning out to be a big grinch!!